raising sand

i just started listening to the album today really.
rising sand by alison krauss and robert plant.
amazing combination.
the way both of their voices harmonize is orgasmic.
it completely relaxes you,
while at the same time haunting you.
ive been a huge fan of alison for years now,
and she has yet to disappoint me with an album.
i love the songs "gone gone gone" and "polly come home."
the former sounds like a beatles song.
and the latter is just completely haunting.

anyways,
its been a long day.
my mom woke me up at eight am to go have breakfast with my grandma for her bday.
we ended up at home town buffet with my aunt maria.
it was overall pretty good,
seeing as the place was empty.lol.
we then went to costco after.
and thennn,
i finally got to go home and rest.
i took like a four hour nap.

we went to dinner at el mercadito.
me, my mom, my grandparents, andy, gabriel, marcia, maria, and suzan.
good times, as always.
mm...what else is there to say really?
i think im out.
peace<33

hello mr heartbreak

less than 36 hours until this hell week is over!!!!!!!!
ah.
ive never been more overjoyed.
this week of finals has been worse than last quarter.
gah.
im so stressed.
i have too many essays to write.
its so unfair.
and i seem to have no attention span.
im seriously going to be up all night.
fvbdfhvbfghvsfdjdis.
thats how my mind is right now.
only people going through finals right now know the kind of stress i speak of.
for reals.
life is so against me.
its horrible.
oh well.
i just want to be able to relax and do nothing and not feel guilty about.
i want to have time to think and not feel bad for thinking.
i want to sleep as long as humanly possible.
i want so much.
and i really want a hug.
from my momma.
and from krystle.
fuuuck.
ok
im gonna go back to reading freud's civilization and its discontents.

perdon

means pardon in spanish.
buttt
its also an amazing duet by vicente and alejandro fernandez.
and right now,
instead of writing one of three essays,
im listening to my collection of vicente fernandez music hoping it will heal me.

so my eye isnt getting any better.
so ill be going go the doctor and letting them rob me blind of my money.
fuck.
i seriously hope its just an infection that i need antibiotics for.
seriously.
or else im screwed.

thats all i really wanted to write.
ths will all be over in 2 days and like 8 hours.
thank goshhhhh

hide and seek

i cant get her out of my head
and its driving me nuts.
seriously.
what the mother fuck is wrong with me?
how the hell did i fall for her this fast?
i cant function.
thats been all ive thought about all day.
and i dont think she likes me.
and that kills me.
and fuuuck.

21 things i want in a lover

mmm...day at ucla.
well night actually.
night and a day.
got here last night.
spent the day here.
still here.
might be here another day.
dont know
but....
i did get some work done!
yay me!
lol.
finally.
seriously.
haha.
i still have so much left to do.
oh well.
baby steps.

anywho.
the girl im seeing is stil driving me nuts.
like wtf?
what do i do?
what do i do?
i like her
but do i like her that much?
i dont like feeling owned.
but i like owning other people.
and i kinna like the feeling of being someones
but idk if i wanna be her someone.

ahhh.
help me.
save me.
boo.

bad girl

new danity kane cd.
welcome to the dollhouse.
amazing dthe.
ive had the song bad girl in my head since i first heard it last night.
its seriously amazing.
buy the album when it comes out.
its what you would expect from them.
woman empowerment.
upbeat dance music.
just overall fun.
the hooks are catchy.
the vocals are amazing.
and all the girls take turns singing lead.
buy it!
welcome to the dollhouse by danity kane.

on another note,
i stayed up til seven am today
but at least i got some reading done=)
finally.lol.

gahhh
FINALSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they are by far one of the gayest things ever invented.
like who came up with this brilliant idea?
i wanna hunt them down and kill them.
now while i realize theyre already dead, im sure,
it would make me feel a lil better to just take a shot or two.
see what finals do to me?
they make me violent.
gahhh....

class in 45 min.
i dont wanna go.
at all.
ugh.
i hate school.
i want it to be spring break already.
ebfjhbdfvihsdbvshdfb

me matas

ok so i have a serious problem no joke.
i think its a disease actually.
cuz although i say im start studying everyday,
i never do.
wtf?
gahhhh
its like i wanna fail or something.
wtf?
im not invincible but yet im treating finals week as if i am.
bahhh.

anyways.
work in less than 2 hours.
gayyyy.

soo....
lately ive been pursuing a girl.
but its different
cuz im pretty sure shes straight,
which i hate.
i hate liking a straight girl.
its like you seriously have no chance in hell.
why cant everyone just be bi?
boooo.

oh and today at lunch i saw a girl ive been talking to online.
let me just say that that was awkward.
seriously.
i averted my eyes so fast and got out of there like i was flash.
so awkward.
and im pretty sure she realized it was me.
how horrible.


kay im off.
im determined to read a lil.

are you still mad

hello.
hmm...
what to say today?
im not quite sure.
hmm...
haha.
class is boring.
and finals are beginning to scare the crap out of me.
and yet,
instead of studying,
im writing this.
priorities, priorities.
haha.

fuuck.
i need to pass my classes,
seriously.
or im royally fucked
and back home i go to LA
to attend a very crappy community college.
boo-ness.fuuck.
need to read.
must read.
crap crap crap

Bohemian Rapshody

so i was at the mall today.
typical Saturday.
lots of people.
mostly hispanic.
all crammed in together to try and get "los sales."
so my godmother needed to use the restroom,
so we use the upstairs one at the ghetto JC Penny.
im in line,
when, behind me, two people come into the restroom.
one is a mother.
middle aged, obese, hispanic.typical for where i come from.
the other is her daughter.
about four or five, hispanic, and...
obese.
as a fat person,
i cant see how one would be able to let their daughter get like that.
i mean, come on.
theres so many stigmas that go along with being obese.
the mother MUST know this,
so how could she allow her little girl to go through the same thing?
personally,
i never want any of my kids to have to suffer any more discrimination than necessary.
and weight is something that can be controlled,
esp since her daughter is so young.
she still has the power.
i just hope one day that she uses it.

on a totally different note,
i officially came out to my godmother today.
it was different.
everyone else i told had all completely expected it.
i dont really think it took any of my friends by surprise.
but she seemed to be a little taken aback.
it was funny, to say the least.
oh well.
one less person i have to come out to...

im off here for now.
peace
<33

naughty girl

another day of not going to class.
how lovely, yes?
idk what it is now a days.
i just dont seem to be motivated to go.
ill study, sure.
but i wont actually go to class.
im beginning to seriously think that maybe a higher education isnt for me.
like i dont enjoy it anymore.
i dont feel challenged.
and idk.
something needs to change.
im hoping next quarter is different considering im taking classing i WANT to take
and not ones that are a last resort.
hmm...we'll see what happens.

so last night i kinda came out to my godmother.
im not completely sure if she caught my drift or not,
but whatever.
haha.
i tried=)

mmmm for home=)
i so excited.
soo soo excited.haha.
its the little things that make me happy.

oh
me and my roommate had like such a talk yesterday.
i have no clue where ill be living next year,
but it sure will be interesting seeing how everything goes down.

alright.im off.
<33>